it took a world of trouble, it took a world of tears..

Today has been one of those days where I want to accomplish so much, but run out of time by the time I finally get around to doing it. I did however, begin the process of applying to school. I'm back to square one of struggling with if I should go to College or University. There are pros and cons to each situation, and anxiety that surrounds them as well. I feel like it should be an easy decision, but given my inability to make a decision and stick to it - it won't be easy. I also still have the feeling of wanting to move... escape this city (because it's the cities fault I'm still here, nothing to do with me, honest!) and find a new world. I love my world, don't get me wrong - there is just so many terrible attachments, and I don't know how I expect my daughter to heal if the reminders are everywhere we go. It's very rare we go out without her making some connection to a memory she has of him, I would just like to eliminate that reliance. It's asking a lot, which is why I continue to rule out the possibility. The deadline is approaching though, so I need to figure this out now. I just cant make myself dedicate time to it - as soon as I'm sitting down, I just want to sleep. This exhaustion could go away anytime now, that would be awesome. I still find time to write here though, which is good. I guess it's my way of justifying my procrastination. Maybe I should stop doing that - and get my shit together... we'll see, for now - chocolate, and sleep.