Mugey.

It doesn't take a lot to fall in love with a being like Mugen. So against the idea of a pet, let alone a cat, I stood my ground on disliking him. But the days passed, and then weeks, and slowly I felt myself bonding with this strange, sketchy animal. I remember the first time he crawled into my lap, timidly - as if to say... I'm here, whether you like it or not. What can I say? he grew on me. No matter what my annoyance was with what he had done (puking, shitting, scratching, dead mice) I was always able to put that aside and love him still. The nights where I would fall apart after a long day - he would come near, stay close, and keep me company. He made sure I was never really alone. It's strange, what kind of relationship you can have with a creature so unlike yourself. When he started to get sick, I wanted to pretend I didn't notice. I'd see his ribs, I'd try and ignore it. When he stopped eating, I convinced myself he was just particular about the food he liked... he can't really be sick, I don't have the energy to admit it. The days grew into weeks, and he started to get sicker. As I watched him struggle to breath, to walk, to eat ... I started to realize this was the end. I don't know if I will ever forgive myself for making the choice to put him down - I don't like the job of playing ruler over life and death. I just feel like he is in pain, I see it in his eyes - his very being, he is not the same. I wish there was an easier way to understand, wish I hadn't grown so fond of him. This would be easier, then. Despite the odds, Mugen became my friend - and as I sit here choking back tears, wishing tomorrow wouldn't come... I hope he knows how much he has impacted my life. Funny, the weight a life can have on your own.