broken glass

Ive lost what little understanding I had left - wandering amongst the rubble, trying to pick up pieces I had convinced myself were back in place. How can I be so naive? Still.. after so much, I am still here. Time, they say. I judge myself so critically, no faith in my heart and my head. Going in a direction I have told myself I need to go. I don't have any answers, no explanations for the actions I've taken and the pain I have endured. Maybe somewhere deep, I deserve the pain... for the broken hearts and the mislead. Maybe this is the way that I get my karma... this broken heart never mending. Days that are long past still following me everywhere I go. The words slip into my conscience like a ghost in the night, and I am embodied by the mourning. There is no starting anew when the last love is still holding strong and encompassing you entirely. So forgive me for my ignorance, stand by as I conquer the next wave of demons, and maybe I will come out stronger. Or maybe, it will pull me under and leave me breathless and defeated.