close my eyes, dream that I'm awake.

I want to be asleep, I should be asleep - so why can't I sleep? I don't know why my body/mind has become so dependent on another body (Tim's, reassuringly) next to mine to give into the darkness of my dreams. I want to be content in the comfort of my own cocoon - but here I am, still awake.. hoping to get so tired I just pass out. I'm okay with the reliance overall though, I mean - it's something I can get used too. It's just in this moment - I'm frustrated because I feel so tired. Ive wanted to go out where it's dark enough to see the sky for some time now, and just sit. I think the convenience of a car would be nice some days, for reasons like that. I guess after awhile I feel the need to just go where it's quiet, and be by myself. It's understandable, come over for an hour during the day and you'll understand. That and I can't even remember the last time I was *actually* alone. I don't even need to be alone, just with someone who can sit, and not say a word. It's really a very hard task for me, to sit in silence, but I need it so badly sometimes. Right now, is one of those times. There is just so much chaos, so much expectation and reliance and frustration and anxiety - I need a break. Break me off a piece of that kit kat?Ugh. such a useless post, sorry folks - Ive got nothin'. Hopefully tomorrow will bring me more inspiration. Sweet dreams xo