The Orange Rhino Challenge

Today is the day I stand here and admit that I am ashamed of myself. Now, I haven't come to this realization for sympathy or a courteous "you're doing a great job"... because the fact of the matter is, I'm not. I am a yeller, I do it often and without thinking. I yell so much, that before I have even made a move after an accident or wrong-doing, my kids are anticipating my fury. I am less engaged, and less interested in everything that involves them because of it. I have seen the fear in my child's eyes, and I have seen the damage it has caused in our relationships. I am short-tempered, irritable and frustrated - and although that is part of motherhood.. kids are just kids. While they make a lot of mistakes... they are human, and humans make a lot of mistakes. It comes down to: I don't like being yelled at, so why do I ever think it's okay to do it to them? So today, I start my challenge. I am putting my phone down more often, and leaving the computer turned off. I am focusing my energy on our lives, as they are the only ones I can make any changes with. I am publicly declaring here and now, that I do not accept this part of me. It isn't who I am, and it has got to go. The four of us are a team, and in order to beat the odds we have to work as a team. We can't do this when one of us is always on the verge of a meltdown. I ask that as my friends and family, you help support me through this. When I am about to lose my temper and let our a yell, acknowledge it. Help me be aware of the rage that overcomes me, and help guide me through this change. I love my kids more than life itself, and the last thing I want from them is fear. I don't have to be anything I don't want to be, and the last thing I want to be is a yeller.