Tiny steps. I'm cautious, and I'm nervous. It's been a long time coming, accepting that I deserve more than what I've accepted for so long. I wonder if I'll ever know how or why, or if like the rest, it will wash away with time as I move forward. I let go of what I've held on to for so long, and proceed with the walk on this tipsy balance beam of life. I keep falling, and no matter how hard I try my balance is off. Commendable that I keep getting back up, and trying again. I can't stay down, even though for so long I tried to. I wanted to keep you company, I wanted to make sure you were okay. In the process, I stopped making sure I was. Never sure completely, about anything. Constantly in a state of wonder, of deciding. I have to let go of something I never had to begin with, and start in a different direction. I expect these thoughts are just words on a screen and it will never fully resonate. I hope that it will merge into something I can handle, that it will ease into the routine of what is. I can't ask anymore.. what is there left to ask? ... and I know that what will be, will be...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cITPH-51QZw
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