sometimes, most times.

Sometimes, I'm a bad mom. Sometimes, I have to tell Emma to be quiet because I can't listen to her sing for even a moment longer (the repetitive nature is enough to make me scream at the top of my lungs at points). Sometimes, I put the girls in their room - and close the door with instructions not to come out until they are fetched, just to get a few things done without a child grasping my leg or a battle breaking out. Sometimes, I let them eat persians for breakfast because it means one less meals worth of dishes. Sometimes, Sophie's clingy nature makes me want to scream. Sometimes, I lay in bed while they destroy the living room - and even though it ends up being more work for me in the end, it meant a few moments of rest for me (and it's always worth it). Sometimes, I really feel like I hate the endless, thankless tasks that come with being a mother. Sometimes, I won't let them do something creative - because I just don't have the energy or interest to clean up the mess after wards. Sometimes, they eat absolute junk for dinner because I don't want to cook. Sometimes, they watch entirely too much TV.

It's hard to let myself believe that more often than not, I'm a great mom. I have a hard time telling myself "your doing a good job, you have created wonderful children". Most times, I prepare a really well balanced meal and can convince them to eat vegetables (even though they hate them!). Most times, I will pull out all the arts & crafts materials and let them go wild. Most times, I try and be compassionate and calm when they are freaking out - most times, we come to a resolution without me having to yell. Most times, I take them out to the park, or for a walk, or a bike ride. Most times, I am happy to be a mom, and will carry out the tasks associated with being one. Most times, I look at these two marvelous little human beings and think "you're you, because of me - you got here, because of what I did for you." Everyday, I am so thankful for the way life panned out - thankful that they have shaped and molded into strong-willed, independent, smart, beautiful, inquisitive, creative kids. Most days, I wouldn't change a single thing.