oooh baby what're you doin to me?

It feels like this weight has been put on my chest - almost like a constant pressure. It all feels too familiar, and then I remember... it was a year ago exactly I subjected myself to being away from you for more than a few days at a time. It sweeps over me like tidal waves, and I can hear myself saying "I will never be away from you for that long again!" Here I am though, away from you... and missing you like a child misses their mother. It honestly hurts, like an ache I can't mute. I am sick to my stomach and I feel like the only remedy is to have you close to me - hear your voice, kiss your face. It's like I'm a lovesick teenager - and I wonder how long it's going to last(likely until I get off that plane and wrap my arms around you too tightly!)I want to enjoy this vacation as it's very likely the last one of it's kind (no way I am road tripping with three YOUNG children..) and for the most part I am enjoying - but I feel this hold on me, like it would be so much better if you were here to enjoy it with us. You should be, I know that.. but wishing won't get me what I want. I'll just have to wait it out, be patient - and reap the sweet rewards of having you next to me... in 11 sleeps. God, that feels awfully long.