broked.

I have come to the end of a very huge chapter of my life. I have learned some amazing lessons, some hurtful ones, and some hard ones. I have never had such a hard time closing the doors of my past like I have this time, and it's been a long time coming - I know. We tried, or I tried - and every time it just came up short. I hate walking away without some sort of closure but I know that nothing more can come, this is the end. As for what's next? Something new, something real - people who love me the way I love. People who respect me, and can look past what they have been taught is right and wrong. I need better, deserve it in fact - and I'll get it. So many people have gone, left in the rubble of my past - and this time I just didn't want to let go. I didn't want to admit that it wasn't real, that I didn't have the same commitment back from them as I gave. People who are supposed to have my back, keep me safe - stand up for me... and I watch them fall, and turn away. It's all part of life, people come and go - I just wish there was a break between the heart break. Wish there was some calm between the storms. I know I'll be fine, I know I'm better off - that doesn't make it any easier though. I guess this is why they call it breaking.