It's as if I peeled off a layer of skin - "shed" so to speak, and I feel like I'm me again. I'm unsure why I hold off on dealing with things that are holding me back for so much longer than I can even really bare. It's not fair either because everyone else suffers from it and I force myself into oblivion - for whatever reason I do it, whether it be to protect myself, or to protect everyone else. In reality it doesn't protect anyone - it just keeps everyone on edge, even me. I'm starting to wonder where it comes from - my insecurity and anxiety. Is there a spot that has just sat, turned sour like milk in the sun? Reveling in it's own rotten juices, keeping me so far from my roots because of the stench? It's time to pack up and leave I think - find a nice little raft, place my anxiety and insecurity aboard and set it off into the open of the oceans. Live. Laugh. Love - and all the while, remember it's never over until it's over. I'm working on it..
"I smoke and I drink, and every time I blink I have a tony dream. As bad as I am, I'm proud of the fact that I'm worse than I seem."
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