it's probably a good thing I'm late.

being awkward is something that I think a lot of people want to avoid. It sounds messy, and complicated... and a lot of people have this appeal to having normalcy in their lives, and I don't think that being awkward feels normal to most. I know a lot of people who are probably offended by the idea that they themselves are awkward even, because it is so inconsistent. I guess I just don't understand that because being normal has never really appealed to me in any way. What is normal anyways? Is it a state of mine..? or a nice car with a good husband and a perfect child? Is it a perfect wedding day, or a degree in science? Is it wearing the right shirt, and the new shoes, and coming from a "good home"? I'm sure lots of people look at me and have plenty opinions about what I'm doing right and wrong, how I could do things differently and where I could make changes. I make it harder for the general pubic to feel comfortable because I'm so awkward - which I use to think was a bad thing. I've somehow found comfort in that attribute, because there is no other way to go about it. Fighting something that comes naturally to you, and that fits you like a glove, doesn't really have much logic to it does it? I know it's probably a hard thing to understand, my awkwardness - but like I said, it's a part of me and if you can't understand it you probably won't understand me. I have no desire, to be a set image of myself - I am happy being me, awkwardness and all.