Resolutions

I'm not a writer. I am in a deep and passionate love affair with language, and thrive when I am able to articulate the way the wind moves and the sound of the tension in the air and the feeling that comes when your heart is racing and your palms are sweaty. I love having the ability to share it with unsuspecting bystanders and longstanding listeners. Some days my whole body aches with the desire to pour out my thoughts in some way that feels tangible, and often it takes the form of letters on some type of blank canvas, strung together in a sequence of words that formulate the internal working of my mind. I put careful consideration into almost every aspect of my life, but my thoughts flow freely and passionately. This next 12 month period promises to hold many big changes, and often I find myself avoiding the flow of those thoughts, for I so often fear shifts in my routine. Tomorrow sometimes scares me so much I hide underneath the sheets of today and hope whatever come doesn't eat me alive. But other times (most times) I am able to look it in the face and say "bring it" with authority and certainty. I questioned myself as to what could change this year, what goals could I set for myself to make this year "better". So flawed is this way of thinking, I realized, and instead decided that nothing needed resolving. No more can I do than live presently, be aware of the love and light that surrounds me. I am not a writer, but I can tell you that this year is bound to change that.