alone.. whether you like it or not, alone is something you'll be quite a lot.

I wage wars on myself over the reckless arguments the demons are having. What use is it to sad all the time, anyways? I'd rather feel the rage - storm out with my fiery fortitude! I am angry! I am fierce! I will not back down. I should be angry, you would be too. It's not a one-person job. It is not supposed to be an all-on-you-gig... and even at that, doing the day-to-day solo - there is supposed to be reprise. There is supposed to be a secondary voice. I am the secondary voice, I am my own advice. I am told to look forward, to know that they will look back on their childhood and say "my mom did it all, on her own, and we turned out great!" I, however, like to live presently = which means today, I am overwhelmed, exhausted, worn out, and torn down. And I am angry about it. You can counter it with your "you chose this" and "you made your bed"'s... but until you walk in my shoes, don't think for a moment you know the choices I've made, and why. This is my reality - and I will honor my anger, I will give a name to my rage... and I will feel it out, and I will not be silenced. "One day" is lovely - but TODAY is right now... and right now? It is hard... like, really fucking hard. I am at peace with my struggles, I am going to embrace that fight. For I alone am fighting the battles you won't see on the front page. On the front page, you will see my hard work - these three incredibly wonderful human beings who I have single-handedly raised. It's not a glamorous journey, but it's mine... and today, my journey is rage.