it's the reminder that they are a forever kind-of-deal

Sometimes, relief takes such a strange face. In the midst of papers due, presentations having to be organized, birthdays being planned, activities being fulfilled - I often wonder how I have any time for much else. It's certainly no wonder I feel so tense about anything outside of my robotic duties. And then, I have a revelation, a moment of clarity. I realize that nothing is as bad as it seems when I'm in the dark - I only need but a minute or two of light to find the way and feel at peace. Maybe it's another phase, another "let's be friends" moment that will be snatched away as quickly as the times before. Always seeing the best in everything, and letting that shadow the worst - maybe I will be the fool again. That's not to say I'm not secretly certain I will be squandered once again - but the little glimpse of hope that passes through my peripherals are enough to keep me going. It doesn't have to be this bad, and why should it? I know I've made mistakes, but please forgive me for I am still learning. One day at a time.