they were right with the order of things, parenting alone is for the dogs.

so with everything aside, I'm literally falling apart. the pressure is too much, the expectations too high - and what is my most comfortable reaction? self destruction. I've never felt so lost in my entire life, so utterly and completely baffled by my every surrounding. sleep away the pain. and so I do, and get further lost in the abyss. I can only hope I come back, or if not - that they will be okay without me. I guess it's time for someone else to pick up the slack now that I'm finally failing.