I'm wiped and I'm wired, but I guess it's just as well

Silence. Is this what I was after? The days have gone by so fast and I wonder if I'll ever feel sober again. Every morning I open my eyes, my head throbs and my throat is sore - like a bad hangover. My body alone has shown me something is not right... my heart and head know, as well. I try to put it down in words, but it all comes out jumbled and confused. I could spend forever wishing and wanting and come up with empty hands. Nothing that worth it is ever easy. The constant buzzing in my head never simmers, and I am left to decipher between thoughts and distractions. I've never doubted you'd be better off without me, until you were without me. The worry is incessant, and I wonder why it holds me... when it never held you. This is the right thing to do.. but the right thing and the hardest thing are often the same. 'cuz they can call me crazy if i fail all the chance that i need is one-in-a-million and they can call me brilliant if i succeed gravity is nothing to me, moving at the speed of sound i'm just going to get my feet wet until i drown