fogged

I'm standing in a crowded room, wall to wall with people, and I am screaming at the top of my lungs - but no one looks up or even notices. Melodramatic fool. I can't make sense of this spot that I'm in, but I am bound and broken and cannot find the words I need to break the noose around my neck. Speaking forces the ropes tighter, and fighting it makes me weak. So i submit, and let myself fall. It breaks to pieces, and I am worked too hard and thin to the bone - but it's never enough. Words have lost purpose, for what good am I doing by speaking such thoughts? No one can help me, no one can save me - this is my battle, and I'm fighting against myself. I'm doomed to fail. Days merge into one another and I can't find a way to stop it. I need more time - there is never enough time. A list of tasks, a list of emotions - all laid out on my lap, patiently awaiting me to get it together and start tackling the demons. So why am I so tired? so unable to get up and make it happen. When did this fog pull me under? and more importantly... how do I get out?