we're ordinary people.

The air was thick, it left a layer on my skin - I needed the outside. Bundled, and unprepared for the sting of cold on my face - I ventured outside in search of a different feeling. It didn't take me long to realize that the thickness would follow me where ever I placed my body, no matter where I tried to hide. In hindsight, the wide open air just left me feeling even more trapped and fearful. It is almost suffocating sometimes, the air inside these walls. I want so badly to feel like I can control the outcome and that regardless of what continues to happen around me - that I am able to steer the sails of my ship. Failure is always associated with the realization that I can't always decide which way we will sail, what obstacle's will get in the way - where we eventually end up. It doesn't just take me to man the ship - it isn't that easy. The fog is just so dense, so unruly - and I struggle with going in blind. One foot in front of the other, and a confidence in my step. Now if only I could rid my atmosphere of the thickness, and breathe a sigh of relief..