ours

It has been brought to my attention that despite my best effort, my subconscious has a hard time recognizing that I am not alone in this. I am unable to articulate my thoughts and feelings about what my body is going through or what is to come without claiming possession over *our* baby. I seem to forget that although I am the one experiencing the internal changes, everyone around me is experiencing the external - and that although this baby is residing inside of my body, my family is also deeply connected to him/her as well. I think that it's possible after all the uprooting and abandonment the girls have gone through, my subconscious guard is cautious. My possessive nature is also always on guard to make sure that my children cannot come to harms way, regardless of why or by who. It's a natural instinct to be protective, and being cautious just comes with the territory. However, when it is verbalized I do not feel the same possessiveness over this baby - and will happily use the "proper" terminology (ie. "our" and "we"). With time it will just come out naturally, and perhaps I am still adjusting to the whole idea of sharing. I have always been pretty selfish when it comes to sharing anything I care deeply about. Selfish, selfish me.