seasons change

creeping up on me, the words slip effortlessly from my fingertips and Im startled by the lapse in time that has taken place since I last felt it tugging at me. The urge came as I walked past the leaves turning color, and the wind began to smell like autumn. I didn't think it'd ever come, and it all came too soon - at the same time. It's been awhile since I took ownership, and it's long overdue. The nervousness has passed, and this new found comfort in the path I am on is refreshing. Worrier by trade, it has been a large process to minimize the daily trauma that surfaces through anxiety. Though, like the wind and the rain and the sun and the moon, I shift and with it, those feelings shift too. It only takes a moment for everything your holding on to, to come undone. And what beauty can be found in the breakdown, if only you let yourself re-imagine what can come from it. I have carved out a small space for myself within this big wide world, and I am going to give myself the credit that is due for what I have accomplished thus far. So much can be lost when you are giving your most precious energy to the overbearingly heavy worries.Who, I wonder, has the strength to do that forever? perhaps that's the point... nobody can. It either kills you, or you change it before it takes you under. I won't go down that easy - I wouldn't care to miss the changing of the seasons, or the smell of autumn in the wind...