the fortress

I pick up a pen, and the words flow like tears welled up deep inside. Hidden are the thoughts and promises broken, hidden is the truth amongst the ink on the page. I first came here in hopes to face my own darkest places, a public attempt at picking it all apart. Now, I know I won't do it here. I am guarded and fearful - the truth is not easy to face. I have, for good reason, built up a fortress surrounding my heart - and no matter how noble the attempt, you will not penetrate this place. For better or worse.. I will hold strong, and forgive the fallen soldiers. It can't be easy - wanting something unattainable for no personal wrong doing. I have my reasons, I have my demons, and I have these walls. The loneliness will hold me tightly, and I will pay till the end for my stubbornness. "Let yourself be happy" ... the price is to high, and I'm out of coins. This is what I've earned, this is what I've resorted too. You don't have to tell me, because I already know - I already live it, every day. Let it lie.