lone

Today : I've set a direction. It is a direction in which no one would choose willingly - no one really ever should have to. That is besides the point, as I've not the access to another one. This is the only way I can go - because every other brings me back to a state of dependence. I've never been happy, depending on anyone. I am on a path to find myself, to smile for real, and laugh hard and without hesitation. I am willing to navigate my way through the mess, to get to that place. I am alone in this, because you must be alone to find yourself. Otherwise, you will keep finding versions of yourself molded by those surrounding you.

Tomorrow : I will cry, and hate this decision. I will resent everyone and thing around me - and wish I had some help, and some clarity.

The day after that : I will pick myself back up, dust off, and keep going.

I am not stopping. I am not giving in. I deserve to be happy, I have earned that much. Misery loves company, and I am happier being alone.