what does it mean, the water?

the aching isn't lessened by the release of tears. sometimes you can only be so lucky. I wash my face in the cold water running from the tap, attempting to freeze them where the lay. I know it's important to take the bad, just as much so as it is to take the good. Today it is more than I can bare, and distraction is my best friend. Dive into the papers scattered at my feet, hope my mind will trail off into the pathway of learning. So hard to focus, so hard to stay awake. I let it crash over me like the oceans wave.. let it run down me and take me out. There is no point in fighting the pain - just let it flow through me, and take it as it comes. nothing can ever be the same again.