late morning thoughts

It's so easy to forget. So easy to just let it be swept away with the streaming water down the roads as the snow melts as does my pain. The thing is, I have learned that if it is easy then there's something missing. It isn't supposed to be easy, it isn't supposed to be handed. To maintain the kind of comfort and happiness that lasts, takes work and dedication. It takes commitment and trust, and most of all it takes communication and honesty. I realize now that all of my intimate, and most of my personal relationships, didn't contain all of those aspects. There is good reason the people from my past who are still here with me now made it this far, and I cherish those connections - I would go to the ends of the earth for those bonds. I don't have to tell you to love me, because if you are one of those people I know that you do. I don't have to fight to keep you here, you are here now because of all the battles already won. The people who have trickled in through the cracks in the walls I built so high, are the ones who have given me reason to work. I am exhausted and I am overwhelmed, but that is just a part of right now. I am loved and I am lucky - and that is something I will always have, and I am thankful. Bring on the good vibes, and they will always be reciprocated. It get's easier, and then harder again, and then maybe a somewhere in between the hard and the easy... it's always changing. I welcome the change, for it is the only constant.