our minds are troubled by the emptiness.

And it happened almost suddenly, without warning. This acceptance of how hard this is going to be. I guess I knew somewhere deep within me that it was a solo journey all along. I keep saying it aloud, hoping that will cement it. It didn't though, and I was still somewhere thinking that it didn't have to be this way. I can't let anyone in, these walls really are too high. It's not even admirable to try anymore, I just look foolish flopping around struggling with my own indecision. It's high time I put my head into war mode and just march on, without hesitating to see if you can catch up. It's too far gone, it's too hard to tackle me down and keep me stationary. I won't believe for a moment that I never tried, that I never cared - for only I can know the ways of my mind and my heart. Only a fool can believe they know one better then they know themselves. I am content to understand that in all fairness, I know practically nothing. But I am eager to learn, I am excited to know a new way, I am anticipating a lot of walking. I learned a long time ago that if it's handed to me, I will take it for granted. I need to work, I need to pour my heart and my time and my blood and my sweat in to feel like I've earned it. Call me stubborn, I won't argue. Call me fierce, I'd be honored. Call me hard to hold, I know it all too well. "Cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are done.. setting fire to our insides for fun... collecting pictures from a flood that wrecked our home. it was a flood that wrecked this."