lost thoughts

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough." - Albert Einstein

I've learned enough to know that I have a lot to learn. Despite our eagerness, our desperate attempts to know what to say and how and when to say it - we very often only have a slight grasp on the knowledge we are trying to portray. I think it takes a great deal to understand that even though you feel like you know a lot, you really know nothing at all. The world is such a big place, full of so many different kinds of people... different languages, foods, habits, rituals - completely unique cultures. I feel like it could easily take a hundred lifetimes to really even begin to have a grasp on the diversity of human diversity.

Hrmm.. I've lost my thought, and nothing seems to be bringing it back to me. Oh well, so much for an insightful piece.

gravity is nothing to me, moving at the speed of sound

My brain is fuzzed, not enough sleep. Not enough restful sleep. It's a hard commodity to come by when your head is fluttering from one extreme to the other, casually ignoring the agony that it's putting you through. I lay awake wondering, feeling like I could have seen it coming. I guess if that were true, if I had some kind of instinct that forewarned me of what was coming, I wouldn't have come this far. It doesn't work that way, and all I can do is learn from each step I take. It's getting harder to find the lessons in between the illusions, though. "You really need to build some supports up to those skies of yours that keep falling" ... I can still hear the tone in your voice, the insecurity in your eyes. 'Is this just another tragic end? Am I doing this again?' I hope that I proved those fears false, and relieved some of the forming pressure on your heart. I've spent a lot of time and invested a lot of sweat, blood and tears into building this castle on this island you see in front of you. To some, it may not be much - but to me, it's my world. Sometimes, here at this castle on this little island, the skies fall - and the fear is driven into me. And I'm going to go ahead and keep building up this castle, do it boldly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOxpvKuEruk

chilled to the bone.

The wind has turned from a sweet spring warmth to a chilling winter blast. My legs feel stiff as I put one in front of the other, a feeling of betrayal crashes through me. I thought we had a deal, mother nature and I. That's what I get for trusting the warmth.. somehow, one way or another, it always disappoints me. I try to be grateful - reap in the benefits of the sun beating down on me, erasing the cold layer that has formed over the last few months. So much for my escape plan - the cold will keep me where I am, for now. Curled up in the same crevice that has been formed by my body during the days that sort of felt like this. Suppose I'll have to be patient, and wait for the wind to die down. Wait for the warmth that goes all the way through.

why I have little faith in humanity.

We are a society full of ignorance. We were raised from the very start to be independent thinkers, and encourage freedom of speech. We grow up knowing that we have the ability to search out the answers to our questions, and that we are encouraged to feel confident in our knowledge. Now, this all sounds lovely - except that for a large portion of human beings, that this way of living has lead them to believe that they know the answer to everything. It has formed a whole common ideal of proving that you are right, and despite the evidence or opinions of feelings that disagree - your thoughts/beliefs/feelings will prevail. This independent thinking will inevitably lead to a barrier between ideas, where we lack to have an open mind to other peoples ideas. Now don't get me wrong, this isn't the rule, nor is it the majority. However, there are enough people out there who live their lives this way that I am left feeling like there are more ignorant, close-minded people out there than my energy is worth to seek the ones who are not out. It's a rarity to find someone in the sea of human minds that can be observant and neutral enough to listen to both sides of the spectrum and remain unbiased. And not only that, but it's a rarity to find someone who won't push their ideas (whether fact or fiction or feeling or belief) with such conviction that you feel like your heads going to explode. I'm so tired of interacting with people who just don't know when to shut the fuck up, and realize they sound like an idiot constantly berating your opinions and condoning their own. When will we just accept that everyone has different ideas, and different opinions - and that despite how you may feel about something, it does not mean that everyone else will share yours? When will we just step back from each others lives and let them make their own decisions without judgment? It really may just boil down to a thrown and a lack of respect, but who am I to judge.