tell me, did you ever get this far?

Hard has never been the problem. I won't shy away from a challenge, and I will fight as hard as I bloody well can for something I believe in. For what I think is real, for what I think is right. Though there have been many days where this was "too much" and I "couldn't do it anymore" .... here I am, still doing it. So tell me I can't, and I'll make a fool out of you. I am fighting the good fight, and the reward is so sweet. I am happy, I am healthy, I am loved. This is how it's supposed to be.

Delete.

The last piece of what was - something I had been holding on to, despite all my efforts to let go of everything else. I want to thank you, for giving me no choice but to just let go of the edge I'd been hanging off of...so committed to holding on by just a finger. Enough to have a glimpse in to something I wasn't a part of. And as I free fall into something new I can't help but look up and hope that whatever path you take, it leads you to somewhere better. As I look up, I see that I held on to long and every other part of me was already waiting at the bottom. I don't know, and I don't want too - because maybe I was wrong, and it was always me after all who couldn't forget. "When I'm falling I'm in peace, it's only when I it the ground it causes all the grief"

sleeping at night

I used to look for approval. I used to believe I needed some validation. I used to hope for acceptance. I used to beg for forgiveness. It took time to learn that I didn't need approval, from anyone but my own heart. It took so many endless nights of fighting to realize validation didn't change the end result. It took losing people I loved to understand that being accepted would happen naturally from the ones who are good people. It took bloody knees and a destroyed self-worth to stop begging for forgiveness, and to accept my demons. I have laid it to rest, I have found my own and am finally able to let it go. For better or worse, I am in deep and passionate love with the person I have grown into being. So I don't sleep restlessly anymore, because hate and spite and resentment can't hold me any longer. I know my worth, and I won't ever forget what it took to find it. "Love; it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free"