lucky.

It's amazing how quickly we forget. I suppose if we remembered (or if we could adequately describe it to other women)the human race would have died out long ago. But here we are - in 2011 and the human population is only growing. So, it's evident that we forget the discomfort of pregnancy, the pains of labor, the trials and errors of having a newborn. There must be some sort of chemical imbalance that helps us to simply erase our memory of what we go through to bring life into this world purely so that we will keep doing it. It probably isn't so much that we 'forget' but that our minds have a funny way of tricking us into primarily remembering the good stuff. Like the incredibly surreal experience of feeling your unborn child kick you from within, or the high you feel as you hold your baby on your chest for the first time. Or the bond you get from nourishing your baby from your own body... or the nirvana of looking into your newborn babies eyes and really meeting him for the first time. These memories will be the ones that take place of the not-so-pleasant ones 2 years down the road, when your baby is now walking and talking and turning into their very own little person. These memories will be the ones you hold on to when your babies are all grown up, and having babies of their own. It's that which reminds me to take everything as it comes, take deep breathes and enjoy every moment of the life I was graced with. It reminds me to appreciate the amazing humans whom rule my life, but who do so with love. I hope I never underestimate just how lucky I am.

you've stolen my heart

I came here intending to write out Liam's birth story - with the intent to share the incredible story with those I love. For some reason though, now that I am here, I'm not sure I'm ready - not sure I have really got a full grip on the life changing event. So I'll wait for it to come flowing out on it's own, rather than force tell the story. I will however share that our world since the birth has been completely life-altering and insanely emotional. It's also been amazing, breath taking, exhausting, beautiful and chaotic. Liam Michael David was born on February 17th at 6:26 am weighing 8Lbs 5ounces. He nurses like a pro, sleeps wonderfully and is so very loved by everyone around him. Emma and Sophie are both adjusting in their own ways, at different paces and in different styles. They remind me that it all takes time, and that we are all changed by Liam's arrival. I'm still in humble amazement by all of it, and sooner or later I will feel compelled to put it all into words.

expiration date?

In hindsight, I realize the overkill that nesting inevitably was for me. The house was ready and prepared for this monumental point in our lives weeks in advance - the clothes had been sorted, washed and put away in anticipation. The floors had been mopped, the walls had been scrubbed, the cupboards had been cleaned out and organized. Overkill. Now, here we are - 2 days after the renewed due date of February 6th... still waiting. It is a constant battle to remind myself that due dates are estimated because there is no way to know what day will be our child's birth date. There is no way to pin point a moment in time that will be reserved for you and your baby. With this constant reminder, I have developed a new mantra - 'you body is merely a vessel, and it will do what it needs to do when it is ready to do it'. In reality, it is extremely difficult for me to hold on to this, and believe my own wisdom. I am very uncomfortable, exhausted, cranky, irritable and emotional. Now, some (cough *Tim* cough) may argue that this has been the consensus for the last 40 weeks. I suppose it just feels more so, because I feel ready... I feel prepared. So now that I am waiting on something greater than my control, it provides a whole new world of desperation for a light at the end of the tunnel. Don't get me wrong, I really do love pregnancy, and I would happily do it again and again. I just want to be done this particular pregnancy now, and more than anything else... I just want to meet our baby! So I will be sent off for an induction if by the 18th I have not "progressed" and at this point, any relief sounds like a good relief.